Saint Thomas Aquinas, the angelic doctor.
Born into a wealthy family, Saint Thomas decided to join the Dominicans. For some reason, this bothered his high-faluten family (I would think if any order would be on the bottom rung for elitists, it’d be the Franciscans. Dominicans wear white and have to stay clean. I’d think that’d appeal to the upper crust). They kidnapped him and held him captive for a year. His brothers even hired a prostitute to try and tempt him from his calling, but the legend goes that he chased her away with a hot poker (not pictured).
Realizing he wasn’t going to change his mind, his mother set up an “escape” so that no one would think she was in any way down with his decision.
He eventually made his way to the University of Paris where he was nicknamed “Dumb Ox” by his classmates because he seldom spoke. His professor, however, saw his potential and told everyone, “This guy is going to be somebody. He might even get offered his own reality show.”
Saint Thomas would go on to teach and write many things including the Summa Theologiae, a quick, easy read on theology.
He started a university and then had a conversation with Jesus in which Jesus told saint Thomas he’d done a good job. After that, Saint Thomas stopped writing because he didn’t see any point in it. Also, his hands were ache-y because they didn’t have typewriters.
He would then get sick and die.
(That’s the Holy Spirit whispering in his ear, not some random dove.)
He’s the patron of students and Universities (except Georgetown!)(JK!)(mostly).
His feast day is January 28.
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